the body and mind will find other ways by Bogdan Dragos

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fourteen years ago

at the birth of his

daughter

the wife made him swear before

the holy cross

that he’ll never touch

drink again

in his life

He kept the promise

Also

fourteen years ago

the wife made him swear

before the holy cross

that he’ll never

touch a slot machine or

a poker table in his life

He kept that

promise also

six years ago

the wife also made him

swear before the holy

cross

that he’ll never touch himself

again in his life

this had nothing to do

with keeping the family unit

together in a healthy way

it was only his wife’s

whim

she would not have

her daughter

provided for and educated

by a sinful man

He kept that

promise too

even though the wife

was as ungenerous as one

could be when it came

to taking care of his needs

copulating without the

aim of creating life

was a sin, of course. So it had

to be avoided

“Goddamit, Jesus! How d’ you keep

yourself sane livin’

like that?”

some of his coworkers had asked

They called him Jesus,

not because

he partook in his wife’s zealotry

but because he had

a hole in his left hand

right between the

bones of the middle and

ring finger

“They’re called metacarpal bones,” the

wife had said

She knew about the injury

and knew how he’d

made it

Dozens of times

she’d watched him insert

a thin knitting needle through that hand

and then pulling it backward

and forward

while moaning in pain

She respected and loved

him for the ritual

“Subjecting yourself to a fraction of

what He had gone through,” she’d said

in admiration. “Darling,

this is worthy of praise. Finally you’re

the man I wanted

you to be. A true man of

Christ!”

Indeed

she had that opinion

of him and his madness

and with her own madness

they formed the happiest Christian

family

She didn’t need to know

that the ritual

caused him to ejaculate, for the

body and mind will find

other ways to

get rid of excess seed

when the normal means are

blocked

and God didn’t need to

punish him

for he wasn’t

exactly touching himself

What doesn’t a man

do for his family?

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