fourteen years ago
at the birth of his
daughter
the wife made him swear before
the holy cross
that he’ll never touch
drink again
in his life
He kept the promise
Also
fourteen years ago
the wife made him swear
before the holy cross
that he’ll never
touch a slot machine or
a poker table in his life
He kept that
promise also
six years ago
the wife also made him
swear before the holy
cross
that he’ll never touch himself
again in his life
this had nothing to do
with keeping the family unit
together in a healthy way
it was only his wife’s
whim
she would not have
her daughter
provided for and educated
by a sinful man
He kept that
promise too
even though the wife
was as ungenerous as one
could be when it came
to taking care of his needs
copulating without the
aim of creating life
was a sin, of course. So it had
to be avoided
“Goddamit, Jesus! How d’ you keep
yourself sane livin’
like that?”
some of his coworkers had asked
They called him Jesus,
not because
he partook in his wife’s zealotry
but because he had
a hole in his left hand
right between the
bones of the middle and
ring finger
“They’re called metacarpal bones,” the
wife had said
She knew about the injury
and knew how he’d
made it
Dozens of times
she’d watched him insert
a thin knitting needle through that hand
and then pulling it backward
and forward
while moaning in pain
She respected and loved
him for the ritual
“Subjecting yourself to a fraction of
what He had gone through,” she’d said
in admiration. “Darling,
this is worthy of praise. Finally you’re
the man I wanted
you to be. A true man of
Christ!”
Indeed
she had that opinion
of him and his madness
and with her own madness
they formed the happiest Christian
family
She didn’t need to know
that the ritual
caused him to ejaculate, for the
body and mind will find
other ways to
get rid of excess seed
when the normal means are
blocked
and God didn’t need to
punish him
for he wasn’t
exactly touching himself
What doesn’t a man
do for his family?

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