“This World is Yours” by Michael L. Utley

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“This World is Yours” by Michael L. Utley

you thought you could
save the world
wee lad
you couldn’t even
save yourself

those bleak nighthawk skies
where dead stars fall
like blood-bloated flies
and fey winds howl
in deafened ears
a behemoth’s fetid exhalation
violent and ignorant
and inexorable

breathe
breathe it all in
the sweat-soaked fear
the bitter tang of futility
fill your lungs
wee lad
this world is yours
as far as tear-blurred
eyes can see

pry up decrepit floorboards
in the dim derelict
cellar of childhood
see the blind white-bellied
squirming things
trundle dumbly, aimlessly
in sepulchral voids
gelatinous excreta
glistening in darkness
a treasure trove
of memories
a box of hell
a gift that keeps on giving
handle these with care
wee lad
lest they consume your soul

you battled the familiar demon
on twilight moors of yore
he wore your scar for years
you’ll wear his for eternity
wee lad
your popsicle stick sword
your pie tin shield
your best intentions
your noble cause
did you really think
you had a chance in hell
of slaying the beast?
what’s a little blood
between father and son?

the elixir of time is a lie
there is no balm for
a childhood stripped
from its moorings
with such casual cruelty

see the sullen sun
heliograph dully
on the lake of fate
see the dun birds
peregrinate incuriously above
see the reflection on the water
the wee old man
with hollow eyes
and broken soul
see the pulsing stormcloud
brooding, ever-present
on the horizon

the myth of idyllic youth
the hue of quicksilver
and autumn wheat
the clever, cloying scent
of false hope
the raucous, pealing thunder
of sundered souls
the thresher’s flail looms
and you fall before it as chaff
blown from this world
on eldritch zephyrs

within the forest of years
the darkling path
opens before you
and closes behind
in peristaltic spasms
as the trees swallow you
in green silence
this quiet place
devoid of time
a resting place
a tomb of giants
a dying place
for those so inclined
no memories allowed here
nor light nor love nor healing
only darkness
and the furtive murmur
of moon-shadows

you were a boy once
for seven years
now your ethereal form
drifts among
strange nameless constellations
across forgotten eons
you won’t find yourself here
wee lad
that kid is long gone
but you must find something
before all is lost


Author’s bio:

Mike is a deaf writer/photographer who lives in rural southwest Colorado. His love of nature shines through his poetry and photography, both of which he uses to make sense of his world. His blog–Silent Pariah.

26 respuestas a «“This World is Yours” by Michael L. Utley»

  1. Avatar de michnavs

    Thank you so much, Mike..it is my hope that children get to grow up in a healthy environment, while this isn’t the reality for others though😔

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks for sharing this piece here at LatinosUSA, Michelle. Truly grateful to you for your advocacy regarding domestic violence and abuse. No child should ever experience the horrors of abuse by a parent. The trauma lasts a lifetime. Thank you for your courage in publishing difficult pieces such as this. You’re giving a voice to those whose voices were silenced for far too long in their childhoods.

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      1. Avatar de michnavs

        And I salute you for writing and sharing this Mike. Some readers may not be comfortable reading pieces like this, but the reality for some.

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  2. […] everyone. My poem “This World is Yours” has been published at LatinosUSA. Sincere thanks to editor Michelle Navajas for sharing this […]

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  3. Avatar de Cindy Georgakas

    Your words are so raw, vulnerable and penetrating and my heart goes out to that wee lad as it does I. All of your writing. Each word slices to the core more deeply than the last and the mother in me wants to take you under my wing of safety and protection. Brilliant writing. Thanks for sharing Mich!! ♥️

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks so much, Cindy. Your wonderful support means more than you can imagine, my friend. You truly represent the best of us, and I’m grateful for your kindness and friendship. 😊

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  4. Avatar de Darlene

    A powerful poem, straight from the heart.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you, Darlene. I’m pleased to know you enjoyed this one. Your kindness is most definitely cherished, my friend. 😊

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  5. Avatar de robertawrites235681907

    A compelling poem by Mike. Thanks for sharing, Michelle 💛

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Many thanks, Robbie. Your support is golden, my friend, and deeply appreciated. 😊

      Me gusta

      1. Avatar de robertawrites235681907

        🌈🩵

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  6. Avatar de Lauren Scott, Author

    A poem with emotions that cut straight through the heart. Compelling writing, as always, Mike. Congratulations, and thanks to Mich for sharing! ❤️

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks, Lauren. That wee lad is out there somewhere and I hope I can find him someday and thank him for his courage. Our inner child needs validation, love and support, especially when trauma is present. I appreciate your stalwart support, my friend. Enjoy your weekend. 😊

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  7. Avatar de Ephemeral Encounters

    Sublime writing as always Mike.
    Your words are so powerful.
    Congratulations on your publication my friend.
    Thank you for sharing Mich.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you so much, Maggie. You’re one of the few writers I know who completely understands this sort of thing, and I value your words of support and kindness so much. Trauma is a long road, and it’s easy to get lost, especially as a little kid. We may spend a lifetime trying to locate and comfort our inner child, but it’s necessary for healing. I’m still on that journey, and I’m sure I’ll be writing more about it. I appreciate you so much, my friend. Enjoy your weekend and be well. 😊

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  8. Avatar de Ephemeral Encounters

    Mike, yes I do understand my friend.
    I also know that healing takes time, and is not linear!
    I admire your strength and courage to write so openly and honestly.
    I find it helps with the healing.
    Never forget how amazing you are my friend 🙏 and how far you have come.
    Blessings to you always Mike.

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  9. Avatar de Annette Rochelle Aben

    and find something, you shall! ❤

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks, Annette. Gotta keep searching, right? 😊

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  10. Avatar de Liz Gauffreau

    A powerfully dark poem. Kudos to the poet!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you kindly, Liz. I appreciate you. 😊

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      1. Avatar de Liz Gauffreau

        You’re welcome, Mike.

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  11. Avatar de D. Wallace Peach

    So painful, Mike. There is no abuse so terrible as that done to a child. Those scars from our formative years never fade, though we can learn to live with them. They’re badges of endurance and survival.

    «that kid is long gone
    but you must find something
    before all is lost»

    I hope that comes true, my friend.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      «Those scars from our formative years never fade, though we can learn to live with them. They’re badges of endurance and survival.»

      This is truth, absolutely. Some things can’t be wished away or talked away or stashed in some dark, forgotten corner out of sight. We carry our scars with us, just as my father carried that scar on his forehead which I inflicted at age ten in an effort to protect my mom. Writing about it helps, but it will always be there. Over time, hopefully, we can come to see those scars as badges of courage, as you mentioned. It’s an on-going process, for sure, and the slope is always too slippery and traction is intermittent at best. I’m trying. I’m grateful for folks such as yourself for your compassion and understanding and support. It makes it a bit easier to continue pressing on, for sure. 😊

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      1. Avatar de D. Wallace Peach

        Press on, my friend. And keep healing and shining that bright core inside you.

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  12. Avatar de jonicaggiano

    Mike, one has to really take their time and absorb all the horrific things brought to life in this piece about that child. It is strange but the thing I guess I relate to the most are these lines. I saw things in the dark on the floor and I think it was because the fear was so strong, my big sister would give me a piggy back ride to the bathroom at night. There were shadows in our childhoods. The anguish expressed in every line are the signs of a tormented child, who is helpless to do anything except continue trying to survive.

    «pry up decrepit floorboards
    in the dim derelict
    cellar of childhood
    see the blind white-bellied
    squirming things
    trundle dumbly, aimlessly
    in sepulchral voids
    gelatinous excreta
    glistening in darkness
    a treasure trove
    of memories
    a box of hell»

    I absolutely love this piece, although it is heartbreaking to read, it is also raw honesty which brings us into your frightful world of neglect, sorrow and horror. It takes such amazing strength to both write about how the abuse feels but putting yourself out their and sharing with other abuse victims is so difficult. I truly am grateful as well that Mich is such an advocate against violence of any kind and writes and publishes other survivors experiences. Sending big warm hugs and lots of love, dear friend.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you so much, Joni. The floorboards section of this poem is truly a horrific metaphor for memories of trauma that we keep hidden away, as though those memories–those «blind white-bellied squirming things»–will magically disappear if we don’t look at them. They’re always there, and we know it, and sixteen years of therapy have proven to me that trauma persists regardless of what we do. We can’t change the past so we must find a way to live with it in the present, a way to coexist with those memories without allowing them to consume us. I’m fortunate that Michelle publishes this sort of writing, and my hope is that sharing it will somehow help others who experienced this sort of thing as children. I know you can relate, and that is heartbreaking as I would rather no one be able to relate to this kind of thing, but just know your support is beyond profound, and your compassion for victims is so healing. Both you and Michelle have done wonderful things with your work and have touched the lives of untold people whose childhoods have been tainted by trauma. Thank you for your generous support, dear friend. Wishing all the best to you and Scott. 😊

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