“The Cairn”by Michael L. Utley

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“The Cairn” by Michael L. Utley

a handful of stones
the currency of a hardened heart
cannot purchase a reprieve
from the weight of mountains
upon my soul

scree of memories
who can navigate the slope
of ankle-breaking regrets
the sharpened shale
of the empty slate
where hope
was once etched
and now only
dust remains

we walked that path
through the foothills of yesterday
where everything was evergreen
the eternal evening
redolent of lilac and honeysuckle
and wild rose
and the wan moon
dozed in the lavender sky
and you were there
but you weren’t there
your body in a mountain meadow
and your mind in
a roiling pit of despair

I held your hand
more tightly than I should have
I couldn’t let go
not then
(not now)
but you didn’t seem to mind
your trembling fingers
nested in my palm
like a dying sparrow
losing heat
as you lost opacity

I could see you fading

we walked that path
where the trees thicken
and congregate
and whisper furtively
and the air hangs in tatters
from gnarled, pensive boughs
and you closed your eyes
and hummed an atonal tune
more of a whimper than a song
and I tried to accompany you
but my voice was gone
stone-silent
lungs airless
mind blank
and your strange aria
stirred the moon-dappled patches
on the path
into a kaleidoscope of sorrow
and a smile touched your pale lips
as my heart broke

I held your hand
until it was nothing
but a memory
the sky above
now an empty void
your skin iridescing
in the gloaming
as though tinctured
with fallen stars
and glowing novae
evanescing
your essence diminishing

we walked that path
until I walked alone
your silent song
forever in my mind
an echo among
cold indifferent granite peaks
the sound of emptiness
of a heart in pieces

of a life bereft of solace
a handful of stones
to remind me
that you existed
long ago
and far away

should you ever
pass this way again
look for the cairn
along the path
there you’ll find
what’s left
of my heart


Author’s bio:

Mike is a deaf writer/photographer who lives in rural southwest Colorado. His love of nature shines through his poetry and photography, both of which he uses to make sense of his world. His blog–Silent Pariah.

25 respuestas a ““The Cairn”by Michael L. Utley”

  1. […] friends. Just a quick note to let you know my poem “The Cairn” is now available at LatinosUSA. Many thanks to editor Michelle Navajas for being so kind as to […]

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  2. Avatar de Mike U.

    Many thanks, Michelle, for publishing this piece. It’s so kind of you, and I appreciate you and all you do so much.

    Wishing you a peaceful weekend. 😊🙏

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  3. Avatar de robbiesinspiration

    Mike’s poetry is always amazingly emotive. 🥰

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks so much, Robbie. Your kind appraisals mean the world to me. Have a grand weekend. 😊

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      1. Avatar de robbiesinspiration

        🥰

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  4. Avatar de beth

    so beautiful, mike

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you kindly, Beth. I’m glad to know this one connected with you. Hope you’re doing well. 😊

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  5. Avatar de jonicaggiano

    Mich, thank you so much for publishing this amazing work by Mike.

    Dear Mike, your work always moves me in ways I can not even begin to describe. I am lost in the beauty of the creativity captured within the work. Your incredible clarity in how you describe your surroundings is so original. You find yourself walking along beside the two of you, captured by the complexity and the sorrow. Yet the beauty you share as you are walking this path with someone you love is literally breathtaking.

    Each stanza is captivating and stunning. I can relate to this stanza when I think of my first high-school love and think about our last walk together.

    «I held your hand
    more tightly than I should have
    I couldn’t let go
    not then
    (not now)
    but you didn’t seem to mind
    your trembling fingers
    nested in my palm
    like a dying sparrow
    losing heat
    as you lost opacity»

    Thank you so much, dear Mich, for this publication, and thank you, Mike for sharing your gorgeous work on Latinoenglishedition.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks a bunch, Joni. Nature and beauty, sorrow and loss…these are recurring themes for me. In particular, the failure to save someone I loved is a common thread in my writing. We as humans are so inextricably tied into nature that it only makes sense to use nature metaphors to describe the human condition. You are a master of this kind of writing, so I know you understand.

      It’s always a treat to read your reviews of my poetry. You put so much thought and care into your appraisals, and it is so appreciated. Thanks for checking this one out, my friend. Wishing you a happy special day as well. 😊🎉🎂

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  6. Avatar de Liz Gauffreau

    A very poem, such a sense of profound loss. I was particularly moved by these lines:

    «your trembling fingers
    nested in my palm
    like a dying sparrow
    losing heat
    as you lost opacity»

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you so much, Liz. It’s truly a sad piece, for sure. Loss and regret and the inability to save the ones I love seem to play a significant role in my writing, and this poem is no exception. I’m glad to know you enjoyed this one. I hope the new year treats you well. 😊

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      1. Avatar de Liz Gauffreau

        You’re welcome, Mike. I hope the new year treats you well, too.

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  7. Avatar de revruss1220

    Beautiful, Mike. Touching and heartbreaking, brittle and soft, all at once. I particularly loved what you did there juxtaposing “shale” and “slate” in your first stanza. Well done!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you kindly, Russ. Always appreciate your stalwart support, good sir. I hope January has been good to you. 😊

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  8. Avatar de V.M.Sang

    I was moved almost to tears by your words. Someone beautiful and heartbreaking.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks, Viv. I’m so glad to know this one resonated with you. I appreciate you. 😊

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  9. Avatar de Annette Rochelle Aben

    full circle from empty to filling to empty again… or so it seems, as we can never be empty as prior once we have had the filling experience

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks, Annette. I really enjoy your unique takes on my poems. I appreciate you and your wonderful support, always. 😊

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  10. Avatar de D. Wallace Peach

    So full of sorrow, Mike, so devastating – that slow vanishing. This is achingly beautiful and emotional, and the cairn at the end made me heartsick. Congrats on the publication, my friend. What a breathtaking poem.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Many thanks, Diana. You’re so kind. «That slow vanishing…» indeed. When people we love fade away, the sense of helplessness and despair can be overwhelming and traumatizing. We do what we can and we hope it’s enough, but it never seems to be. I suppose that’s as good a description of life as there is, at least from the perspective of a broken heart.

      I hope your Sunday is unexpectedly amazing, my friend. 😊

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  11. Avatar de Bianca Alina

    I was moved to tears by your poem, Mike ♥️🥺. So wonderfully written! 👏👏✨

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks, Bianca. I’m so glad my words resonate with you. Your poetry always speaks to me on a profound level. Sending good vibes to you this Sunday. Stay warm, friend! 😊

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  12. Avatar de peggywritesblog

    Congratulations on the publication! Beautifully written, Mike! A poem of longing and loss, sorrow and solitude within the beauty of our created world, the imagery is amazing. Well done, my friend!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks so much, Peggy. It’s a sad one, for sure. People fade away; memories linger. And sometimes those memories fade as well and leave profound emptiness. I suppose all we can do is care for one another the best we can, and never forget those we love. I hope your weekend is going well, my friend. 😊

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      1. Avatar de peggywritesblog

        So true, Mike! Caring and being there for those we love and sharing the memories of those we’ve lost gets us through. Blessings my friend! 🙏

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