“I’ve Come at Last to Anhedonia” by Michael L. Utley

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“I’ve Come at Last to Anhedonia” by Michael L. Utley

I’ve come at last to Anhedonia
that bleak and melancholy land
beyond the god-forsaken desert sand
far ‘cross the sea of memories
where sunlight fades and none has e’er returned

the forests filled with stunted things
that in the shadows furtive lurk
rise forth from mires amid the murk
of blackened loam and caustic springs

and yellowed grasses’ brittle bones
that slough and sigh in bitter breeze
a desiccated meadow’s wheeze
a mournful death-rattle intones

I’ve come at last to Anhedonia
that lightless and forbidden place
beyond the hopes and dreams and saving grace
of human ken and mortal men
where moonlight fails and none has e’er returned

the stony fields and fetid fens
and moors forever draped in gloom
the whispers of impending doom
that echo in forgotten glens

the stars too faint to pierce the night
the cloying and unsettled haze
of apathetical malaise
that dulls even the purest light

I’ve come at last to Anhedonia
that languid and indiff’rent spot
beyond the realm of clarity of thought
where logic lies and purpose dies
where heart-light ebbs and none has e’er returned

the monuments to moments past
have crumbled ‘neath the weight of years
eroded by a lifetime’s tears
no joy in life is meant to last

it’s here I’ve found a resting place
a place to numb my pains and fears
eternal nights, eternal years
eternal sorrow I embrace

I’ve come at last to Anhedonia
that silent clearing in the trees
with bittersweet nostalgia on the breeze
where I will fade like mem’ries made
so long ago, and I shall ne’er return


Author’s bio:

Mike is a deaf writer/photographer who lives in rural southwest Colorado. His love of nature shines through his poetry and photography, both of which he uses to make sense of his world. His blog–Silent Pariah.

33 respuestas a ““I’ve Come at Last to Anhedonia” by Michael L. Utley”

  1. […] folks. My poem “I’ve Come at Last to Anhedonia” is now available at LatinosUSA. Much gratitude to editor Michelle Navajas for publishing this […]

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  2. Avatar de Mike U.

    Thank you so much for your kindness in publishing this poem, Michelle. I appreciate you and all you do. 😊

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    1. Avatar de michnavs

      Thank you too Mike for allowing me to share this to our readers here on Latinos USA ..It is my honor to publish your work.

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  3. Avatar de SRIKANTH

    What a profoundly moving and masterfully crafted poem Mike !The repetition of «I’ve come at last to Anhedonia» acts as a haunting, mournful bell toll, marking a descent that feels both inevitable and tragic. The way you build this landscape is extraordinary—it’s not just a place of absence, but one of active decay and eerie, «stunted» life. The «caustic springs,» the «wheeze» of the meadow, and the «cloying and unsettled haze / of apathetical malaise» make the psychological state of anhedonia terrifyingly tangible.

    The final stanza is particularly devastating. The shift from describing the land to accepting it as a «resting place,» where the speaker embraces «eternal sorrow,» is heartbreaking. It captures the terrible peace that can be found in surrender to despair. This is a powerful and unforgettable journey into the heart of emotional desolation. Thank you for sharing such a beautifully bleak piece of work.🤝

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    1. Avatar de michnavs

      Thank you so much for reading Mike here 🫶

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    2. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you so much for your keen insights and in-depth appraisal of this piece. Anhedonia is a place with which I’m all too familiar, so this poem came rather naturally to me. The slow, inevitable descent into sorrow and acceptance of despair act as siren songs for those lost souls wandering in the gloaming of depression and loss. It’s a morass, and so difficult to free oneself once caught in its sticky grip. I’m grateful for your kind words and pleased to know this piece connected with you. Very much appreciated, my friend. 😊

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  4. Avatar de robbiesinspiration

    This is a beautiful and compelling read.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you kindly, Robbie. 😊

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  5. Avatar de Nicole Sara

    An impressive emotional poem… elegant and so beautiful!

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    1. Avatar de michnavs

      Thank you Nicole 🫶

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    2. Avatar de Mike U.

      Many thanks, Nicole. Truly grateful for your kind words. 😊

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  6. Avatar de michnavs

    Thank you, Robbie🫶

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  7. Avatar de Annette Rochelle Aben

    It is as though the stages of grief slide into each other and dissolve ere, much like coffee into hot water..

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks, Annette. I like your analogy. Very apt, for sure. 😊

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  8. Avatar de Willie Torres Jr.
    Willie Torres Jr.

    This is heavy and honest.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks so much, Willie. I’m glad to know this one resonated with you. Much appreciated. 😊

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      1. Avatar de Willie Torres Jr.
        Willie Torres Jr.

        You are very welcome.

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  9. Avatar de jonicaggiano

    Mike, this is so stunning. Your description is unbelievably compelling and makes one feel each stanza so powerfully. A slow elevation of the immense sense of loss, happiness, and hope through each descriptive phrase. I honestly can not pick a favorite stanza, as each one is filled with such intense anguish.

    I think many of us have times when we fall into anhedonia through a deep depression caused by some sort of loss. I feel like I am walking along with you on the path you describe in this amazingly brilliant piece.

    Thank you so much, Mich, for publishing Mike’s outstanding poem. Thank you, Mike, for sharing your rawness with us. It takes courage to write about our sorrow. Big hugs and love coming your way from both of us!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Hi, Joni. Thanks so much for your generous appraisal. Anhedonia is much too familiar to me, unfortunately. Not a good place to visit, let alone reside. There should be a big sign that says «Leave your hope and happiness at the front gate–you won’t need them here…» To me, this piece has a sort of musical quality to it, with the repetitious refrain. I can imagine Ian McKellen reciting this piece in his Gandalf voice. I’m pleased to know you enjoyed this one, my friend. Wishing you and Scott a peaceful Thanksgiving. 😊

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      1. Avatar de jonicaggiano

        It is very sad indeed my friend but I have experienced times in this land of the lost – it is not a good place to be. It has an especially gorgeous cadence and I love the thought of listening to someone read it with a fabulous voice.

        We write what we feel and it takes courage to do so. I always applaud you for that my friend. I don’t separate the work from the heart of the one who is suffering by any means. I am so grateful to be a part of your life as a friend. Your talent is mind boggling to me. I wish happiness filled your heart my friend. Love you

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  10. Avatar de beth

    a evocative slide into loss and decay

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks a bunch, Beth. Anhedonia is terrible, for sure. I’ve spent too much time there, I must admit. Thank you for your kind words. 😊

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  11. Avatar de V.M.Sang

    This is a stunning poem, Mike. You describe anhedonia so well. It’s not a place of desolation, but or rot and decay, as you state.
    This poem would be worthy of the great poets.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you so much Viv. You’re so kind. I’m grateful that you found this piece enjoyable. Anhedonia is awful, for sure, and my heart goes out to those weary souls who find themselves lost in its darkness.

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  12. Avatar de Tina Opines

    Epuc poetry.

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  13. Avatar de Tina Opines

    Epic*

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks, Tina. I’m glad to know this poem resonated with you. 😊

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  14. Avatar de peggywritesblog

    Wow, Mike,this poem is amazing! So real, so heartfelt, so sorrowful, full of emotion and imagery! You invite us to come to Anhedonia with you, and we go! Beautifully written, my dear friend!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Aw, you’re too kind, Peggy! Thanks so much for such a nice comment. This poem is a strange one, almost a song lyric rather than a poem. Anhedonia beckons all too often and it’s not the best vacation spot, for sure. Those with major depression become intimately familiar with this place and the hopelessness therein.

      Your constant support means so much to me, my friend. Thank you for all you do. I’m glad you’re here. 😊

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  15. Avatar de peggywritesblog

    Thank you, Mike! I always enjoy reading your poetry, its depth and imagery invite us to join you on a journey, and we gladly come along. Thanks for sharing your gift with us!

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  16. Avatar de Saima.SK

    Thank you for sharing this powerful piece, Mike. Reading it felt like stepping into a shadowed part of the soul — a place where absence, longing, and silence echo in ways most of us never name. Your words carry a painful beauty, one that reflects despair and numbness, but also — by speaking it aloud — offers a kind of fragile honesty many hide deep inside.

    It takes courage to name a feeling like Anhedonia and to let others glimpse the ache that comes with loss of pleasure, of joy, of meaning. I’m grateful you gave that voice to the silence.

    I hope that sharing this doesn’t remain just a mirror of pain — maybe it becomes a step toward compassion, understanding, and healing. For everyone struggling and feeling unseen: you are not alone. ❤️

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks, Saima. For some of us, Anhedonia is our second home, a familiar landscape of bleakness and horror. Easy to enter, difficult to escape. I know I’m not the only resident of that place, and my heart goes out to others who find themselves lost in those dark and chilly midnight moors. But I think what’s so difficult for us to realize is that, while we may lose hope and no longer care, there may be others who still care about us, who yearn for our return, and who keep that candle burning in the window as a beacon to guide us home. It’s hard to see beyond the gloom of Anhedonia, but there is more to our world than this bitter desolation. Life lies out there somewhere, and maybe hope, too.

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      1. Avatar de Saima.SK

        Thank you for sharing this so honestly, my friend. Your words capture the harshness of Anhedonia, yet also the quiet, persistent hope that someone, somewhere, keeps a light burning for us. It’s a powerful reminder that even in the darkest landscapes, connection and care can guide us home.

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