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the binoculars were heavy in

his small hands.

“Heavier than a rock,” he

said, and then

looked over to her. “So, does

your dad work in the

military?”

The question bothered her

the last time

he asked it

and it bothered her now.

“Thought I fuckin’ told you

to shut the fuck

up about that,” she said

snatching the

binoculars from his hands

and then punching

him in the shoulder

“Ouch!”

She was older than him by

some good years

and the coolest person

he ever met.

This girl… she casually

used cuss words in

her speech and knew a lot

of ‘em. She

could

spit without having it

stick to her

mouth and chin. Could fire

that thing like a bullet

from a gun.

She also smoked and knew

how to roll

tobacco into thin paper

and make cigarettes. And

besides all that

she had cool scars

on her arms

and legs and even one

that stretched from

her left cheek to her nose.

Like a cool, wild huntress.

Yeah, if Cool was a person,

she was that.

And she was cool enough

to let him

hang around the forest with

her, even though he could

do none of the things

she could and

had a curfew at nine PM

Cool never had to be

home by any

fixed hour. She could

literally spend the night

outside if she

wanted to

Cool was also too cool to

spend time with

other girls her age. She only

spoke to boys and men, and

never nicely

But most of all, Cool

spent time in

the nearby forest by herself

carrying the over-sized

binoculars

and climbing trees and

looking inside people’s

houses

The binoculars were no

ordinary item

one could buy at the store,

that was clear even to him. It

was high tech military

equipment that ordinary people

would never get their

hands on

Perhaps Cool’s father died in

the military

and that’s why they let her

keep the binoculars. Perhaps

that’s also why she doesn’t

wanna talk about it

Mostly she was spying on

her own house

where she lived with

her mother and two

big dogs that kept most

people away from the fence

and the door and the

windows

There were lots of things

to see inside those

windows with the

binoculars. Despite the dogs

being so mean,

her mother brought lots

of people inside the house

like there was constantly

a party going on there

But if that was so,

she didn’t look

too cheerful about it.

“Fuckin’ bitch gonna ruin

it again,” Cool muttered

to herself as

she looked through

the binoculars

“What’s she gonna ruin

again?” he asked.

Cool was silent.

“C’mon, tell me, what’s she

gonna ruin? The party?”

“Keep quiet.”

“Okay. But can I look again?

Just for a second?”

“Um, you’re not tall enough

to see right.”

“I can climb in this

here tree first.”

“Nah, then you’ll probably

drop the thing

and break it. Better not

risk shit.”

“Okay, but then

can I look at another house?”

“Another house, eh? And which

would that be?”

“I’ll look at mine.”

Cool needed a cigarette. She handed

him the binoculars

and fished into her back pocket

for some tobacco and

paper.

Heavy as a rock, he thought

again as he

held the binoculars

and raised it to his eyes

He could only see the

roof of her house,

but could see his own

well enough

“Peaceful, isn’t it?” she said

from beside him

as she lit the

cigarette. “I wish I lived

there. With your mom

and dad. Sharing warm meals

at the dining table, drinking

orange juice, talking

about how the day went, an’

all that.”

“What, really?” he said

“Really. I could be your big

sister, an’ we’d cuddle

in bed

in the cold mornings after

mom and dad leave for work.

Or we’d walk together

to school

an’ actually take a stray path

through the woods

where I’d teach

you to smoke an’ gamble at

dice.”

“R-really?”

“Really. And how to cheat,

of course.”

“Wow…”

“Yeah. Pretty cool stuff. Also,

I could teach you

how to kiss girls

at school. On the mouth

I mean.”

“Ah, what?”

“Yeah, does that sound nice?”

He didn’t answer

“Say, would you like it

to be real? That life

I just

described. Would you be happy

if it were real?”

“I-if you were my big

sister? It would be… the, the

coolest thing ever!”

“Really?”

He took the binoculars away from

his eyes

to watch her, but

she was quick to stop him. With

a swift touch of her

slim finger on his

head

he understood that she

wants him not to look at her

but into the binoculars,

back at his house

and the peaceful atmosphere

in and outside it

“Look at it,” she whispered

with tobacco smoke

into his ear. “Don’t take

your eyes off it. And imagine.

Imagine I’m right there

with you.

You know how to imagine, right?”

He tried to answer

but a sticky lump formed in his throat

right away and he

only swallowed, eyes till

in the binoculars, watching

the peaceful, lovely house

he lived in

“Of course you do,” she continued.

“You’ve been doing it

all your life. But now you’ll

be doing it a little

more intensely. The more intensely

you do it, the

closer it is to being real.

I will make it

very real for you now.”

He could hear her spitting the

cigarette out of her

mouth

and dropping down to

her knees. Wanted to take

his eyes away from

the binoculars and face

her, but

understood intuitively that

it would’ve been the wrong

move.

He remained frozen like a guard

watching over the

royal figure he protects

even as her hands worked

around his waist

to pull the pants down

If you imagine it hard

enough and

with enough feeling, she spoke

straight into his mind,

it becomes your reality,

indeed. Even if no one else

sees it. What does it matter

as long as you’re

living it, right?”

“Right,” he said