«I Am the Coin that Falls Between the Cracks» by Michael L. Utley

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parts of me have died
that no one will ever know
nor will ever mourn
and why should they
I am just a remnant of myself
writ small among the vagaries of life

I am the coin that falls between the cracks
the sub-aural hum of power lines
the mote-specked silence of barn lofts
the dull glint of galaxies
as seen through rheumic eyes
I am the shadow
in the corner
of my cold
listless
mind

amid the howl of eternity
there are worlds upon worlds
fractal multiverses strewn
with thoughtless hubris
across heaven’s filthy floor
the dice of fate, kismet’s craps
as reckless gods play
with the lives of men
and alabaster-eyed
sentinels gaze blankly
distant and aloof
into the cackling abyss

once, beneath a leaden sky
a sweltering path led me
through shag-barked copses
and desiccated thickets
to an obscure clearing
and there
in midday gloaming
a spring appeared
and I knelt at water’s edge
seeking desperately
for my reflection
proof of my existence
which eluded me
upon the stagnant rancid
larval-glutted surface
I sought to see my soul
but instead espied
the foul machinations
of a craven universe
amid pond scum
and the stench of reality
and as I fled in horror
the pealing laughter
of amused gods
rent the sky

there are sink-holes in my soul
where I’ve lost myself
along the way
suffocating in tenebrosity
the detritus of shame
trailing behind me
marking my path
from tepid light
to torpid darkness
from inutile hope
to abject despair
the inconsequential
bric-a-brac of
22,000 days
fallen from the cabinets
of my heart
shattered shards
of worthless memories
my mind
a stuttering dynamo
choking on its own fumes

I
have lost
myself in
this desert of
alkali flats and
creosote bushes that
leech all moisture from my eyes
rendering tears unfeasible
seeking shelter from this thoughtless sun
and the mindlessness of my existence

take my hand
if you dare
and I shall show you
a broken soul
a half-hearted man
a mind in free-fall
a dumb dying animal
too cowardly to drop
to the dust and merge
with oblivion
a leprous life
in exile among
incurious stars
shunned by
callous sun
and careless moon
and exhausted
beyond measure
a half-life
every atom radiating
a numbness of spirit

my lost soul slides
languidly
toward
day’s end

and when my somber sun sets
none shall be the wiser

Copyright © 2025 Michael L. Utley
All Rights Reserved

47 respuestas a “«I Am the Coin that Falls Between the Cracks» by Michael L. Utley”

  1. Avatar de Meelosmom

    You sure have a fine selection to publish here, Nolcha!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you, Barbara. It’s very kind of you. 😊

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      1. Avatar de Meelosmom

        You’re welcome!

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    2. Avatar de crazy4yarn2
      crazy4yarn2

      Thank you, Barb!

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      1. Avatar de Meelosmom

        You’re welcome!

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  2. Avatar de robbiesinspiration

    Hi Mike, this really is so very sad. These lines really impacted me:
    the foul machinations
    of a craven universe
    amid pond scum
    and the stench of reality
    and as I fled in horror
    the pealing laughter
    of amused gods
    rent the sky

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks so much, Robbie. Yes, this one is pretty dark–one of my «in the throes of depression» pieces. I had fun with the imagery, though, despite its bleakness. I appreciate your kind support, my friend. 😊

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      1. Avatar de robbiesinspiration

        Yes, the imagery is excellent

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  3. Avatar de Ephemeral Encounters

    Wow this is Mike writing as only he can.
    Raw and real 👏👏 with no fancy bows.
    I am in in awe of his work.
    Brilliant ink.
    Thank you for sharing Nolcha.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      I’m always so grateful for your wonderful support, Maggie. My goodness, you spoil me! I truly appreciate your kind words, my friend. Glad to know you enjoyed this piece. 😊

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      1. Avatar de Ephemeral Encounters

        Aww Mike you are always welcome.
        I love the rawness of your work.
        Look after yourself my friend
        🤗🙏🤗

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    2. Avatar de crazy4yarn2
      crazy4yarn2

      Thank you for reading, Maggie!

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      1. Avatar de Ephemeral Encounters

        Always my pleasure Nolcha

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  4. […] everyone. I’m excited to let you know my poem “I am the Coin the Falls Between the Cracks” is now available at LatinosUSA. Much gratitude to Editor Nolcha Fox for publishing this piece. […]

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    1. Avatar de crazy4yarn2
      crazy4yarn2

      You’re welcome, Mike!

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  5. Avatar de Annette Rochelle Aben

    Your poem addresses what many feel and have felt but have not the courage to put into words.

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks, Annette. Since I began writing poetry in 2012, it’s been my hope (and what feels like my duty) to be as honest and open as I possible can about my struggles, knowing there are many other people out there who may have similar experiences. I want folks to know they’re not alone in their pain, that it’s okay to talk about it, to let the light in so healing can begin. I hope my words help someone in some way. If they do, then my life will have had meaning. We all matter, we all have value, we all deserve to love and be loved.

      Always grateful to you, my friend, for your constant support. Thanks for being here. 😊

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  6. Avatar de Mike U.

    Thank you kindly, Nolcha, for sharing this poem here at LatinosUSA. Your kindness means the world to me, my friend. 😊

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    1. Avatar de crazy4yarn2
      crazy4yarn2

      😁😁😁 I appreciate you, Mike!

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  7. Avatar de Jane Fritz

    Oh my goodness, Mike, this one is dark, all right. But its imagery is remarkable. It drew me right in. Bravo!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks so much, Jane. I suppose prying up the floorboards of my soul late at night is bound to produce some dark poetry, eh? Every once in a while one of these will emerge. It’s cathartic to let it out so the light can get in. Thank you for your stalwart support, my friend. It truly means a lot to me. 😊🍁

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      1. Avatar de Jane Fritz

        Thank you for sharing the gift of your poetry. As Leonard Cohen reminded us, there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in. And thanks as well, Mike, for the maple leaf! 😊

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  8. Avatar de luisa zambrotta

    Such a beautiful poem!!!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you so much, Luisa. I’m glad this poem appealed to you, my friend. I hope you have a good weekend. 😊

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      1. Avatar de luisa zambrotta

        You are so very welcome my dear Mike .
        It’s my pleasure as always! ❣️

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  9. Avatar de Cindy Georgakas

    You never fail to amaze me with your depicted words that only those who have walked in your shoes truly know. The way you create imagery and visuals in your poems is masterful, Mike!!! I’ve no idea how you do this every time!
    👍🏽💓❤️‍🩹

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Kindest thanks, Cindy. I think my deafness has played a part in how I write poetry as far as imagery goes. It certainly influenced my nature photography. I must rely on visual clues to a much higher degree than a normally hearing person, so my mind thinks in terms of visual imagery to a greater extent. I love closing my eyes and letting the images loose in my mind to see what appears. It’s one reason I love poetry so much–an abstract thinker who must rely heavily on visual clues is really suited for poetry, I think.

      I appreciate you so much, my friend. Thanks for your generous support, always. 😊

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  10. Avatar de Michele Lee

    The absence of one who writes with such intense beauty and sadness would certainly be noticed. An honor to read your poetry, Mike. 💝

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you so much, Michele, for such a touching comment. I exist in a reclusive bubble, never really knowing if anything I say or do matters in the grand scheme of things. As a poet, my words are sent out into the world in the hopes that they’ll connect with someone, thereby connecting me with the outside world. I’m, extremely introverted, but there’s a part of me that yearns to be accepted by others. Thanks for your kind sentiments, my friend. I appreciate you for all you do. 😊

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      1. Avatar de Michele Lee

        You’re so welcome, Mike and thank you for sharing so honestly, a gift of yours that most definitely connects you with others. Grateful to be included. 💕

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  11. Avatar de Dawn Pisturino

    So powerful, it’s overwhelming!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks, Dawn. This one is intense, for sure. Sometimes the darkness needs to be purged, and poems like this one are born. I appreciate your kindness, my friend. 😊

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  12. Avatar de Meelosmom

    A stunning poem!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thank you kindly, Barbara. I truly appreciate it. 😊

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  13. Avatar de Baydreamer - Lauren Scott

    Mike, this is so dark and tugs hard at the heart, but beautifully written, and as always, your imagery is impeccable! «I am the coin that falls between the cracks» alone hits me to my core. Thanks to Nolcha for featuring your stunning work, and Congratulations to you, my friend. ❤️

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    1. Avatar de crazy4yarn2
      crazy4yarn2

      Thank you, Lauren, for reading!

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      1. Avatar de Baydreamer - Lauren Scott

        My pleasure!

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    2. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks so much, Lauren. Darker themes and emotions seem to inspire me, so I try to roll with it in order for the words and images to flow. I’ll never win the award for Most Upbeat Poet, but I’m okay with that. 😎 Being able to write anything at all in this current time of horrific upheaval in our country and the world is a miracle for me. I appreciate your kind support as always, my friend. Thanks for being here. 😊

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      1. Avatar de Baydreamer - Lauren Scott

        As poets, we need to write what our hearts and minds are telling us, light, dark, funny, all irrelevant. Someone will relate to your words and thank you for them, Mike. This is how I feel and what I hope for by sharing mine too. Hugs, my friend

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  14. Avatar de D. Wallace Peach

    This one is so very dark, Mike, but I agree with others who’ve commented that your word choices and language is visceral and powerful. I’m glad you don’t hold back; I prefer the honesty even though it makes me want to pry you out of that crack. 😀 And happy to see you writing! Keep spilling it!

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks, Diana. Yes, I went for the jugular (my own) in this one. Writing anything feels liberating, and this one was no exception. *stares fondly at World’s Gloomiest Poet trophy on mantle* 😎 Thanks as always for your sterling support, my friend. 😊

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      1. Avatar de D. Wallace Peach

        Ha ha ha. Hey, if writing gloomy poetry feels liberating… write away!

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  15. Avatar de peggywritesblog

    Wow, Mike, an amazingly crafted poem! The imagery is incredible and the emotion is dark, but parts of it speak to most everyone. Take my hand…

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      Thanks a bunch, Peggy. I seem to have only two gears when I write: depressed, and extra-depressed. You can probably tell which gear I was in while writing this one! I’m okay with writing dark poetry. It’s where I find the most inspiration. I appreciate your support so much, my friend. 😊

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      1. Avatar de peggywritesblog

        Very welcome! It may be “dark” but most all of us have been in a dark place at one time or another. Your poetry allows others to feel empathy, compassion and even to begin healing. Great piece!

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  16. Avatar de Saima.SK

    «parts of me have died
    that no one will ever know
    nor will ever mourn
    and why should they
    I am just a remnant of myself
    writ small among the vagaries of life»….

    Ohh Mike, it is so wonderful poem, I already read it..and love reading it again and again ❤️ Congratulations, my friend👍

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    1. Avatar de Mike U.

      You’re incredibly kind, Saima. Thank you for your enthusiastic support. It means the world to me. I’m so happy to know you enjoy my poetry, dear friend! 😊🌸

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