LatinosUSA

This morning the pills have not been there. Kitchen, top cabinet, not there. But of course the world wouldn’t explode if he didn’t take the pills for one day. Things were going too fine to slip downhill now.

He didn’t need the pills. It actually was like the doctor said, the power was inside him. The power to change to become better, to leave the past behind. The power was in him. And in dearest Kyu, his therapy dog, a small corgi who needed to be walked every day.

He smiled as he thought of Kyu, called him, and Kyu came, and he put the leash on and went outside. The rain didn’t bother either of them. Only problem during rainy days was the lack of other people to socialize with. People hated rain and that was that, but not him and Kyu. They walked through the park and the rain grew more intense, fatter drops, heavier, colder, louder, splashing. The little rivulets flowing on the sides of the streets weren’t so little anymore. This would turn out to be a total flood. Better go back home.

Kyu seemed to get the meaning. They turned back and the rivulets at the sides of the street grew more potent and the leash grew lighter and lighter.

Gods! The rivulet carried Kyu away! Oh God, no! Straight into the curbside storm drain! In the sewer! Kyuuuuuu! And there was no one on the streets, not even cars passing. He had to do something by himself because no one would help him, nobody ever helped him. He had to pull himself out of this ditch by himself once more.

Cursing between clenched teeth, he dropped to his knees and crawled into the storm drain after his beloved Kyu. He landed on hard concrete and broke his foot so badly that the jagged shinbone protruded through the flesh and skin and came out like a blade. He screamed and cried and cursed the day he was born and the people in his life and outside of it. Of course everyone would be outside of it. Nobody would be in his life. Not mother, not father, not sister, grandparents, friends What friends? He never had any of those. People were cold, people wanted to see him cry because seeing him cry was their food and they needed food to stay alive, they needed to eat and their hunger was insatiable. They should… just die actually.

The dirty water showered all around him and onto his wound and onto his head and eyes, but he still saw it. He saw them carrying Kyu away, dragging him by the paws, towards the darkest spot of the sewer despite his whimpering protests. He screamed, shouted at them, but they wouldn’t listen.

“Hey, you bastards, let him go!”

No, they would not let Kyu go. Words were not enough to convince people. He had to do something. He crawled after them through the cold filth, with pain and determination propelling him. Oh, it was them, of course. Mother and father and sister. They were dragging Kyu away from him, just as they dragged everything away from him. This was too much. He couldn’t let this happen. Too much!

He crawled after them, crying, screaming, cursing, and reached for his broken shinbone and pulled it out of the leg and stabbed them with it again and again. He kept stabbing at their backs, their heads, their throats, their chests, their arms, everywhere. Stab, stab, stab! 

“Thought you could take everything away from me! My friends, my life, my love, my soul, my freedom, my purpose, my way, my choices, my health, my possibilities, and now even him, my dearest Kyu? Fuck you! I won’t let you! I won’t let you!”

And he kept stabbing and stabbing. Stab. Stab. Stab. Until that hand just wouldn’t work anymore and he fell with his head on Kyu like on a pillow as he always did, and darkness came about him.

“Good night, Kyu. I love you.”