LatinosUSA

At a barbecue, a man I didn’t know paid too much attention to my date, Kathleen. The man called her Angel – Angel this and Angel that. Each Angel burrowing further under my skin.

Jack, Kate’s brother and the host, realised I was getting annoyed. “He’s a pain, ain’t he?”

“You got that right. Maybe I should take Kate and leave.”

“Why? She dated him a long time ago and dumped him when she got fed up with him. He was not a happy man at the time. Made a fool of himself repeatedly trying to get her back. Why don’t you just try a word in his ear?”

“How come he’s here?”

“He wheedled an invite from my wife. I had no idea he would act like this. I could ask him to leave if you like.”

“Thanks, Jack. Let me try the word in his shell-like first.”

I waited for the right moment, then approached the guy. “Listen, bud, I’m getting a little ticked off at the attention you’re paying to Kathleen, plus you sound like a bit of a prat with all the Angel nonsense. It stops now, or I’ll introduce you to real angels, those with haloes and harps.”

The flesh around his eyes tightened. “Who the hell are you?” he asked.

“Told you, I’m her date.”

“Good for you. I can tell you it won’t last long. Her and me are on a break, but we’ll be getting back together soon. She dates other guys now and then, but it only lasts for a month or so. Your use-by date must be approaching.”

I wanted to pancake the man’s face, but restrained myself. “If that happens …”

“When it happens.”

“… if that happens, you can sweet-talk her and call her Angel all you want. Until then, keep away from her.”

The man stood silent, weighing up whether to get physical. Please, please do, I thought.

He eventually said, “I think that’s up to Kathleen, so don’t come around getting all macho on me.”

“Oh, I love macho men,” Kathleen said from behind my shoulder.

The man scraped his face into a mess of a slimy smile. “Hello, Angel. I was just telling this bore about how you and I used to date and how we’re on a break right now.”

I stepped closer to him, but Kathleen linked her arm with mine and pulled me back. “No. Tom. We’re not on a break. I dumped you. Remember?”

“Of course I remember, Angel. I know the drill. You want to have fun before we settle down.

I can understand that. I’m doing the same myself. I just wanted your current man to know what the future, his and mine, holds. That’s all.”

“I’m not in your future, Tom. It’s time for you to move on. It’s been that way for a while, so when are you going to grow up and see life as it is, not the way you want it to be?”

“Everyone’s allowed to strive for what they want, aim for their dreams.”

“That includes Kate and me, arsehole,” I said as I stepped closer to him again. Kate tugged on my arm, and I again reluctantly stepped back.

The man saw his escape in making us the centre of everybody else’s attention. “Look, everyone.

This thug is dating my girlfriend and threatening me.”

People laughed. Two shouted, “Go home.”

A woman appearing around the side of the house stopped when she heard the shouts. She put fingers to her chest, as if asking if the words were directed at her.

Jack was at the barbecue, wearing his official host’s apron. He waived her to join him as the laughter settled and attention returned to previous matters.

I heard her say, “I guess this is the right place. I’m Karen. Hi. I’m supposed to meet Tom Schutt here.”

“Over by the far side of the pool. See him?”

“Oh, yes. Thank you.”

The woman arrived and sized up the situation. She stepped between Tom and me and

demanded, “What’s going on here? Is this man causing trouble, Tom?”

My eyebrows rose.

The man looked at her, wide-eyed, “Er, no, Angel.”

“Angel!” Kate withdrew her linked arm and repeated, “Angel?” She turned to me and said, “You have at him, Darling.”

“No, Angel, I meant …”

“Who are you calling Angel?” the newcomer demanded.

All I could do was laugh.