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you were seeking (leaving your work behind. the loneliness clawing) you were wanting. needing a little something to look at (we were both young and far from family) and talk to 

i was (chipped pink slates for nails. undercut uneven. saved money to cut my own hair) awake travelin subway cars (leaving fresh fingerprints for dna collection)  unusually done up (silver leopard jegging. mottled eye cuz i forgot to let the mascara dry) tryin to get a charge in the senseless city. preloaded looking four out of ten pretty (ten if you like tortured artist) and of course i was tight that night. a girl cant go out at night alone otherwise

you were

(bound to be impulsive)
i was (lonely too. but in a different way. not needing nothing) 

i was (for so long comin up empty) presuming i would go home alone (less scared of violence or death) again. you were traveling backward (to remember the past) insincerely, when we met outside the bar at the bottom of a hill. we spoke in loud whispers (though i saw the lies in your eyes i knew how good it feels. to bend the truth backward like a spoon) like smoke from a volcanic pressure before the eruption

you were
I was

breathless at first with the hunger. wiggling out of frozen to give you something you could sink your heart into (the sea at our backs. impersonal. swipe left dating pools) with great difficulty (imagine if you were i was discarded by me or you over an awkward approach) we landed 

you were. i was. we were somethin (material) random. of a sudden (indebted) rolled pinner of a joint. tight like that. god is suddenly good. baked into the bread. wholesome (hearted) not having to speak (talking about it was always so terrible anyway and only made you feel self-conscious or bad) 

being with you (someone who could care when caring was all was asked and running a shocking deficit) i was (euphoric). being with me (whatever i was to you i hope it was good and i wont try to pretend i know what you thought and i wont invent half-truths cuz half-truths are lies and i wont dress it up with my poorly lit memory) you were (kind and loving) some (spectacular) connection

may we make (us) last as long as we possibly can (and did) and that wasnt very long but (we) didnt go home alone and (i) have it to hold on to (for eternity) to recall in troubled times (loneliness and sorrow) and (i) thank you

for what you were I was

BIO: Katya Mills is a nonbinary writer and licensed psychotherapist in California. They like to help people envision and re-author the stories of their lives. Katya holds a literature degree from Northwestern University and their creative nonfiction has recently appeared in  Journal X (Cabrillo College), New Words Press, and Meniscus Literary Journal. They are currently seeking representation. Their books can be found here: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7276703.Katya_Mills