LatinosUSA

“Yeah, I’m not the first nor the last security guard to fall asleep on the job,” he said. “Especially on night shift. A year ago the security company I worked for stationed me at a mental asylum. Only the worst of the worst cases ended up there. An’ I was supposed to intervene in case anything bad would happen during the night. Previous to my stationing there one of the patients went into a frenzy and used his large body to slam some of the nurses to the ground and gouge their eyes out with his fingers. And all because they’ve seen him naked and… well, it was a sin. He was a religious nut. He then chewed on their eyes in order to wipe the image of his nakedness from their minds. The story got me scared, but apparently not scared enough to prevent me from falling asleep. I think I passed out in my chair by about 3AM or so. I felt fairly safe. The patients were locked in their rooms and Mister Super-Dangerous was handcuffed to his bed, with a catheter inside his urethra in case he needed to piss during the night. I slept quite peacefully for a few hours and then woke up with a sweaty palm over my eyes. I froze. Then I heard his voice. ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘Thank you for keeping your eyes closed. Thank you for not regarding me in my nakedness. Your abstinence is pleasant in the eyes of God who sees all. Don’t open your eyes now, for I am still naked. I only ask that you guide me with your voice, fellow believer. I need to reach the restroom. What way?’

“I lost my voice. Felt like death itself was holding its gnarly hand on top of my head, covering my eyes. I simply could not speak. So I just raised my hand and pointed to my right. Might as well have pointed into the wall. But it seemed to work. It pleased him and he thanked me again. Told me not to open my eyes again, and I heard his steps departing. I stood there with my eyes closed until I felt it was safe to look around. I reached for the service phone and called for help. There was a trail of blood left in the patient’s wake along the corridor. Luckily, there was no one awake to look upon his nakedness among the other patients. When reinforcements came they had to use extreme measures to get the guy down and restrict his frantic movements. We later found out that he’d broken his own wrist and chewed through tendons in order to free himself from the handcuffs. That’s why the hand he placed on my face was so hot. I’ve never met a man to make me so scared in my life. I don’t know where he is today, but damn, I sure hope he’s well dressed.”

His wife who listened to the story suggested to him that perhaps this job was simply too dangerous and he should consider changing it, but he denied.

Once you’ve had so much adrenaline in a single night you tend to get hooked on it. It cannot compare to any office job.

The manager told him that next they’ll station him in a casino. 

He knew he’ll find plenty of adrenaline there as well.

And he wasn’t wrong.